Tough Conversations
Use the information below as a tool while you navigate the more difficult conversations and situations you may have with your kids Overall trust yourselves when having these conversations, you got this!
Bullying
Bullying is a common occurrence and in no way does it reflect you as a parent. Some personalities are just more vulnerable to being a target. As parents we need to have open relationships with our kids so that they will be open to talking to us about deep hurts or emotions that they are dealing with. The best thing we can do as parents is to be fully invested in our kids and be on the watch for any changes in their behaviors. If we notice anything out of the ordinary in their behaviors, open up and have a conversation with them. The articles below from Focus on the Family give us parents great insight and tools on how to navigate bullying that our children may face, witness or even may afflict on others.
Articles Worth Reading:
Death
Navigating death and crisis with your kids can be hard because you are most likely grieving yourself. As parents we have to remember that kids grieve differently than we do. Also we as parents must fight the urge to hide our emotions from them, we are the best example they have on how to grieve well. We must be honest with our kids on what is going on in a child appropriate way. We need to walk alongside them guiding them and helping them work through their emotions in an open way. The articles below from Focus on the Family and Parent Cue, give us parents great insight and tools on how to navigate grief and loss with our kids.
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Online Safety
Our kids are online more than ever and with that brings more risks of unwanted exposure. Our kids are not looking for trouble; trouble is looking for them. With this, as parents, we are trying to navigate how much screen time is appropriate, we worry about what they will be exposed to, what limits we should have in place, and/or what protections we should put in place. Please hear me clearly when I say this, technology is not bad; it is very much a part of our kids' lives now and in the future. We need not shield our kids from technology, but rather teach them how to navigate it appropriately. Here are 3 practical things we can do as parents to help create a safer online experience for our kids and to establish tools for them when they do encounter something that makes them uncomfortable online.
1. Make kids aware! We need to make our kids aware of the dangers online and what they look like. We already do this in many areas of their lives. For example, we teach them the stove is hot and if they touch it they will get burned. The dangers of online should be no different. Our kids can be exposed to cyber bullying, online predators, and all kinds of unwanted exposure to explicit content both through personal exposure or exposure through their friends who have been exposed. Our kids have never seen some of these “things” before and these “things” could make them feel uncomfortable or may make them think something doesn't feel right; however, they may not know it is wrong. By talking to them about the dangers our kids can then recognize the danger, which is another layer of keeping them protected. Our children need to know how to handle and navigate these dangers if/when they arise.
2. Create Boundaries! When we set boundaries kids know where the line is. If we set the line of what we watch, what we see, and what we tell others, another layer of protection is built.
3. Communicate and chat it out! This is not a one and done conversation. This is an open and ongoing conversation. One that is built on trust, a trust where your kids know that if they open up to you they will not get into trouble and that you are available to listen (yes, consequences may be needed in some cases, but only when the behavior on their end warrants it, not when someone/something else brings it to them). Remember our kids are not looking for trouble, trouble is looking for them. As parents we want to foster a relationship of trust that when our kids are in an uncomfortable situation they come to us FIRST, and not just bury their feelings or become curious and search or ask someone else who might not have the same views as us as parents.
Having layers on protection in place on all devices is always a good idea, as well as open and honest conversations with kids about your expectations and safe guards. These added protections are not used because we do not trust our kids; but they are in place to keep the creepers and dangers from looking for our kids. That is an important distinction and one you need to make your kids aware of.
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Racism
Racism is a very sensitive topic and it can be difficult to navagate how, when and what to say to our children about racism. We as parents need to have open and honest conversations with our children about prejudices and racism. We need to equip them with values and tools to be able to respect, celebrate, and stand up for those who are being discriminated against. The articles below from Focus on the Family and Parent Cue, give us parents great insight and tools on how to navigate racism and prejudice conversations with our children.